Wake Up Call?

So this week I found out about a co-worker who had been in the hospital for quite sometime without me knowing. I guess I had just figured that either she or one of her children were out with the flu, or maybe that she was traveling. I guess not. She had been in the hospital with very high blood sugar issues. :( It's quite possible this was due to some medication she was placed on. could something like this be seen as a HUGE wake up call for all of us? Well, yeah, I sure think so. Diabetes is often a big problem for those who struggle with obesity. So far, I've been lucky not to have that problem. As I was discussing my co-worker who's been out, I've said to a few people, "I always think that I've got it, and I never have it, which often leads me to wonder, am I waiting until I finally get it before I do something about my health?" Why would I do that? Why would I need to wait for a huge wake up call before I begin to take care of myself, and my health? WHY?? It really makes no sense. I need to smarten up. I want to lose weight, but what am I doing about it? That's what happens with me. I start to want something, and I sit around, thinking.."How am I going to do it?" Basically, I just hope that things will just occur the way I want them to! Of course, that never happens. It's the same as it was going to Korea. For the longest time, I wanted to go, and somehow though and hoped that it would just happen. Of course, that didn't occur. Then, finally, I made the decision, because I knew Derek was actually looking forward to it, and I started to get everything done. Now, a lot of the paperwork is just waiting to be completed, and it's just about cleaning out our apartment, getting rid of what we're not taking, and then getting what we need, including plane tickets. EEK!!

So, back to my health... What's it going to take for me? I don't know. I wish I did know. I feel like I'm all alone, and like there's no one who could even come close to understanding what I deal with. I've been so tired lately. I have no energy, and no interest in doing much of anything at all. Last week I had three colleagues here from other offices working with me, and it was very sad that at the end of each day I would not even go hang out with them, or take them out to show them the city or do anything with them. I'd come home, and just veg out, because I was so tired. One night they went to the mall, and I should have gone with them, but I couldn't imagine doing it! I knew that I'd get grumpy, and tired. I hate the mall. I hate walking around it. Sometimes I am in the mood for it, and it's fine. Often times when that happens, Derek knows that he can just go into his favorite stores, and I'll just sit out on a bench and wait for him. How does one with no energy at all find what it takes to exercise? I don't know!

I did have a Christmas cookie exchange yesterday! It was great, however, now I have a bunch of very yummy treats in my fridge that I'm so determined to eat no matter how ill they make me feel. It's so dumb. :( Derek's going to work tomorrow night... Maybe I'll send them with him, well, what's left of them anyways!

What am I waiting for? For that day when I'm going to pass out from having high blood pressure, or high sugars? Am I waiting for the time when I'm unable to move? Again, I really don't know.

If you have any advice, I'd really appreciate it!